My Voice

Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it. – Naomi Wolf

I often get this visual of myself, kneeling on the ground, screaming without sound, hair flowing (the dramatics, I know), and of course, it's a beautiful place.

The place is not that important. 

Why, why, do I keep getting it.  

I am stuck, and I know it.  

There is something missing in my writing - and in my life, and I know what it is.  I just can't quite dig deep enough to get HER out.  At least, not on paper.  As if, I am waiting for the right moment. 

Or the right courage.

I need her to come out.  

Then it hits me,  I am so SICK of being "GOOD"!  Pretty recipes and inspiring quotes are easy compared to the real work of becoming yourself.  It's a deep longing, and it's not just about me.     

"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in"  

Not to say that I am not grateful and appreciate what is present in my life.
I am.  

I'm just inviting the real me to show up.  

The real me has a big hunger.  While I am better at feeding the inner hunger with less
self-destructive and seemly irresponsible ways, there is always a part seeking.  

Possibly, longing to be "bad"?!!

And not in the I'll have a little dairy and gluten in my cookie kind of way.  But how can I suck every ounce out of life kind of way.  In some ways, I envy those who are content.  Or are they truly?

I accept, surrender, and have faith that what is meant to show up in my life will.  I do.  But, I know there is so much more to me.  

And there is much more to you.  
​
Of course, what's holding me back is...​me. 

She is coming.

 I know it.  

 You will love her. 

​I do.  

Love, Only Love,


Karin